Posts By: Julia Craig

When we find ourselves unhappy and lacking that fulfilled sense of joy, it can often be that our “reality” of what is going on for us right now, doesn’t match up with our expectations of ourselves, our circumstances or the people around us!

We call this the Happiness Gap! The bigger gap between our expectations and our reality, the unhappier we can feel!

Think of it like a movie playing inside our heads of how we expect our life to be if it is all going to our “plan” and then there is the reality of what is…

We are happy if our life matches our “movie” but disappointed if it doesn’t.

We are also disappointed when the characters in our movie respond differently in real life than what we expect, which is usually the case in real life, right?

This type of thinking creates a gap between our expectations and our reality. When our mind notices this gap it asks why and this can feel uncomfortable at times. 

The answers to this question can spiral us into a cycle of negative thinking. 

Why am I not happy? Then comes the inner critic of our mind, tell us limiting beliefs such as 

“I am not attractive enough,” 

“nothing ever works out for me,” 

“I am not smart enough…”

With Mindful awareness we become aware of the gap  or as we call it – ‘Mind the gap.’ 

We can learn that in some cases, to work on releasing this movie in our heads by turning our expectations into appreciation for all that we do have.

We learn to throw away the movie and approach life with curiosity, gratitude and kindness.

Practising gratitude or appreciation cultivates a feeling, we can practise this by keeping a list each day of 3 things we are grateful for in our life right now. It can also be a lovely thing to do verbally, with your family or partner at the dinner table at the end of the day. 

It gets easier to practise this over time and can anything that is seemingly “small things” such as a warm meal on the table, or, your comfy bed, to loving friends around you, or, a stranger smiling at you today! 

Try it for yourself, keep it up each day and soon you will really start to notice there is more and more for you to appreciate in your life!

Learn more practical Mindfulness tools and techniques and teach them to others, with our Ovio Online Mindfulness Course

Here’s how to get out of your head and into your body.

Are you feeling like there is a lot going on in your head?

Is it hard to let go of the thoughts and focus your attention?

Here’s a 5 minute exercise that we call The Body Scan and it’s great for a few good reasons..

• Firstly it helps us to integrate our mind and body to feel more centred and present with ourselves and with others.
• If practised regularly, we can work towards training our attention to the task at hand rather than getting caught up in our thoughts.
• This simple mindfulness tool also teaches us to practice acceptance and non judgement.

When we feel anxious, we may be swept up in the stories we tell ourselves and using this tool, helps us to let go of the stories.

So find a quiet place to sit where you won’t be disturbed and listen to the audio here.

Keen on more joy and less stress?

Get in quick for our  50% of mindfulmay sale!

Ovio Online Mindfulness Course  is now only $62.50 for lifetime access to our beginner course plus bonus content.

So you want to start practicing mindfulness, but you’ve got no idea how to begin?

The wonderful thing about mindfulness is that you can get started anywhere, any time.

Here’s how I recommend you get started:

1. Set aside a certain time every day

2. Sit in a place where you can actually be as free from distractions as possible.

3. Set a timer, even starting with one minute will make a difference!

4. Simply sitting there for one minute, noticing your thoughts and then bringing it back to whatever you’re anchoring your attention on, such as your breath.

5. You may want to just sit and listen one of our audios such as the Noticing thoughts exercise or see more Ovio audios here.

Quite often you’ll find if you go to sit down for one minute, you’ll end up being there for 5 or 10 minutes.

Mindfulness is not only beneficial for you, but for anyone that you come in contact with. So remember, please do not feel guilty that you’re taking time out for yourself!

As you become more accepting, less judgmental, and kinder to yourself, you naturally extend that same courtesy to others.

So get started, give it a go. I wish you all the best.

Learn more practical Mindfulness tools and techniques with our Ovio Online Mindfulness Course

Food choices and diet are often so emotionally driven. We can have all the intention to eat well and avoid temptation to eat foods that we might later regret, but in the moment we feel this intense urge to eat the chocolate in front of us, or dive in for a second helping of cake.

Cravings work in a similar way it’s like all we can think about and the urge builds until we give in.

If we want to make diet or lifestyle improvements we need to look at our habits. The first place to start is awareness of the habit when they pop up and sit with it until it passes.

This is a powerful tool that allows you to ride that real urge of intense desire like a wave.

How to Surf the Urge!

Instead of giving in to the habit, we stop, and we recognise what’s happening, so we recognise that there’s an urge inside us.

There’s a habitual wanting to reach for the food and we know, in prehistoric times when food was scarce this was a survival adaptation but when we are surrounded by an overabundance of food we may need to override this urge.

The idea of surfing the urge comes in when you first notice it building up, just as if you’re surfing over the top of a wave, something like this…

1. Feel the desire or urge 

“Oh this urge is getting more and more and more, I’m going to have to give in to it.”

2. Just pause at that point, check in and notice –

Where in your body do you feel that urge? How does it feel in your body?

3. Notice that big rapid build up and just like at the top of a wave –

It plateaus for a little bit, before you come back down again and the urge eventually subsides.

Once you start noticing this your cravings or urges like this, you get control over it.

You may be surprised at first, when you practise this technique because you can really feel that happening.

What happens is you disrupt this habit loop. So next time when you see a piece of chocolate cake, your habit is not as strongly as ingrained.

This allows you to start to take control of your eating, you start to be more conscious and deliberate and just breaking free of that habit loop can be just so wonderful.

So wonderfully liberating.

If you need some extra support managing your cravings or addictions our online mindfulness course is a great place to start.

A mindfulness tool that takes just a moment.

How often are you mindlessly caught up in thought and you’re not really “here”?

When we are mindless, we tend to be more reactive to our environment and situations. We might say things we didn’t mean to say, be unable to truly be with someone in a conversation or experience overwhelm of a demanding workload or never ending to do list.

We tend to just go and go all day without allowing ourselves to stop and check in with ourselves, even just for a moment.

Here’s a simple 5 step tool that allows us to go from being mindless to mindful, using PAUSE as an acronym.

This PAUSE can be done anywhere, anytime of the day, in fact – no one needs to know that you’re doing it.

PAUSE in transition times

Use this tool in any transition time, you can do it as you’re walking, you can sit down to do it, at the traffic lights, here are some instances when it could be most useful:

• PAUSE as you’re walking from one place to another
• when you arrive home from work, before your step in the door.
• before eating to have more appreciation for your meal and bring some awareness to what you are about to eat.
• between clients or meetings.
• or before having a difficult conversation.  

So we’ve based the five steps around the acronym of the Ovio PAUSE:

P is for Pause.

Just pause and let the true experience you’re having come in. That may sound a little bit obvious, but quite often, we are in our minds remembering something that’s happened in the past or something that’s going to happen in the future and we’re not even noticing the experience we’re having in that present moment is. So just pause and let ourselves notice that.

A is to accept

Acceptance is to no longer resist what is. Accept the present moment non-judgmentally and with curiosity. Curiosity is a beautiful childlike feeling that kind of opens us up to the present moment.

U is You!

Observe yourself, your mind, your body in your environment. So how’s my mind? What’s going on in my head full of thoughts? What’s happening to my body? Am I hungry, am I tired, am I cold, hot? And the environment, what’s going on around me and my senses?

Sigh and Smile

On your next exhale, let out a sigh. By sighing, we’re releasing all that stress and tension. The sigh will naturally be followed by a deep inhale and as we’re inhaling, curve up the corners of your mouth and smile, to release the body’s endorphins, which are the natural painkillers, which actually make us feel happier and more open to the present moment.

E  is to Engage

This is the outcome of the PAUSE. Now that we’re mindful, we’re ready to engage with clarity, a bit more balance and purpose, because we’ve actually arrived in the present moment, which is a wonderful feeling. Engage with those around you or the task at hand.

Of course like any new tool, at first it won’t come naturally. So, it’s recommended to start being a bit disciplined with it and set an alarm on your phone to remind you to PAUSE during the day.

Do this for the first 3 or 4 weeks to build in the habit and enjoy the benefits of a calmer and more present mind.

To manage your emotions with more ease we offer our online beginners course, which is a great place to start. Or deep dive this topic and more join us for our teach or deep dive training.